


Shades of Red

by Gepeng23



Series: Love Stranding [2]
Category: Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, F/M, Married Life, Reconciliation, Reunions, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 02:22:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28930950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gepeng23/pseuds/Gepeng23
Summary: Can Jaesa rekindle the flames of her fractured marriage?
Relationships: Male Jedi Consular | Barsen'thor/Vaylin, Male Sith Warrior/Jaesa Willsaam
Series: Love Stranding [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2121846
Kudos: 4





	Shades of Red

**Author's Note:**

> A spinoff series of Love Stranding, taking place after Ossus / Jedi Under Siege. The story of Jaesa x Male Sith Warrior romance. Might make a prequel series of how they ended up together in the future.

**( Artwork by me )**

* * *

Peeking through the window to see his son fast asleep filled him with that long awaited relief. It was the only thing he wanted after all those years and effort of searching for them. To be frank, he was ready to throw all of this Alliance business away to begin a simple life far from the war with his little family. A man cannot have it all.

The sunset was warm and breezy. Leaning on one of the trees was his wife, already waiting for him in the Odessen wilds. His steps became slower as a hint of anxiety held him back. Then their eyes met.

He stopped in his tracks. Somehow, being alone with her under _better_ circumstances was even more harrowing than he'd anticipated. Talking to her previously on Ossus was easier. Jaesa approached him calmly, with an unreadable expression on her face. It has been a few years since they were last together. Their separation wasn't consensual, or was it? 

"Greetings, Your Majesty."

That title pricked his heart like an icepick. It sounded so cold and formal. Far from the domestic bliss those years ago.

"Why the formality? Am I… a stranger to you?"

She sighed out all the guilt that had been eating at her. Her arms hugged herself in a vulnerable stance, eyes to the ground. Hearing his voice again reawakened that deep love she felt when she first uncovered his real character. Especially when that voice was bent to several notes of music. "I apologize. I… wasn't sure what to call you."

"Husband would be fine," as Rionnic folded his arms.

It was her turn to get an icepick to the heart. As a matter of fact, they were never legally separated, and both of them still considered the other as their spouse. Seconds of awkward silence lingered until she broke it. 

"I see you've been through a lot. The holos didn't tell the whole story, but I knew enough. I also wanted to thank you for sparing Master Gnost-Dural. I owe him so much."

"He's recovering well. It seems like you know all about me, but what about you? Were you on Ossus all this time?"

"Not quite. I personally trained Rian myself before discovering the colony in Ossus. It was perfect for us, Rian could train there in seclusion. I thought… I thought you died. Until I saw those holos."

"Why didn't you seek me out?"

That was it, a chance for her to let out what has been bugging her ever since their son was born. Almost a decade of uncertainty and lack of progress on her side. She gathered the courage by a sharp blow of air.

"It's actually been a long time coming. Obviously, Rian's training. But the reason why…" as she linked her fingers, nervously continuing; "I can't bring Rian to live like this. Constant war, attempts on your life, Sith and their games... I just--I just want him to grow normally. It's less likely if I stayed with you. So I left."

Her words crushed him. He turned away, trying to hide his heartbreak. Those words hurt even more because all of it was true. Was that how she felt the entire time they were together? More importantly, did she truly love him? All this time he thought they were separated because of some kidnapping or tragedy. Worrying endlessly for their safety. To have the truth come out like this was a lightsaber through his soul. 

“I’m so sorry! I-I was detaching myself with the thought of you finding someone else, or having moved on from us--”

“The years I’ve spent looking for you and you thought I’m… unfaithful?” He thought his heart couldn’t fracture any further, and was proven wrong.

“No it’s--”

“Never. If I must answer that. How could I move on from my wife and child without finding out what happened? How could you?”

She spoke nothing. It hurt her just as bad to crush the love of her life with her truth. This wasn’t how she wanted their reunion to turn out, but she knew it would hurt him. She’d do anything to hold him at the moment. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I’ll accept any of your decisions.”

Silence returned between them, as he walked a few steps towards the cliff, still trying to regain himself. Nothing could harm him, not losing a limb, not losing a war, not galaxy-wide humiliation. But this, the possible death of his marriage, or the family that he worked so hard to find, struck him right at the core. Family was the singular principle of his life. His son was the light that presented him with a new hope to continue living, and his own wife was separating them. All he wanted was to be a good father to Rian, especially after what Valkorion did to his sons. 

After doing his best to not show emotion or distress, he turned to face her. It further disheartened him to see her so reserved and calm while he was dying inside. Perhaps it was the stronger Jedi influence. 

“If you want to end this, I won’t stop you.”

Before she could reply to that; “But if there’s one thing that I’d have to beg you, it’s my son. Please don’t take him away from me. I can accept if you don’t have any love left for me. But I can’t handle anymore void of him…”

The crack in his voice made her recoil with tears, finally breaking that serene facade. Seeing him break down in front of her; just a father wanting to be in his son’s life, made her despise herself. She couldn’t even look at him. “So what would it be? What do you want?”

She buried her face in her hands, shaking her head. But then she heard him stepping away, opening her eyes to him going back to the base. 

“Wait!”

One thing was sure for her: that she wanted to stay. She gave chase, and like many years ago, caught him in a hug from behind. The first touch after years of starvation. He remained stoic and immobile as she tightened her embrace, feeling conflicted as to whether he should return the affection or be mad at her audacity. The latter emotion was stronger. 

"I never stopped loving you. I want us together as a family again," pleaded Jaesa.

Immediately his mind uttered rejections to that, against his better judgement. Likely influenced by the hurt and anger inside. The pessimist side of him assumed that she only changed her mind about her decision because of the attack on Ossus, and presumably after seeing how the Alliance was thriving. If circumstances were different he probably would never see his son again. The heartbroken side of him failed to see proof of her claiming to still love him. He released himself from her grasp, coldly.

“You don’t get to kill me with those words then take it back just like that.”

“We can work this out… Isn’t this what we both wanted?”

“But you left when you could’ve told me what you’re truly feeling. I thought we could have discussed a solution--communicate!" As he ran his hand through his hair exasperatedly. "I want to be a father to him, but I don’t think I can still be a husband to you.”

His last remark made the waterworks flood her face. But as she said moments ago, she would accept whatever decision he made. Seeing her crying broke whatever’s left of his heart. Once again, he turned away to avoid staring at the mess Jaesa had become. 

“One thing I can promise you. No harm shall ever befall our son. I will do my damndest all to give him a normal life.”

He started to feel some remorse, wanting to hold and comfort her. Before any weakness moved his body to shield hers, the raw emotional wound put a stop to that. While it might be over, he had no desire to go through the process of legal annulment--but if she wanted to, he would grant her that. Since there was nothing left to say, he walked away.

"Will you at least forgive me?"

Forgiveness. Didn't she just say that she did not deserve his forgiveness? Between caving in to the fractured love he still had for her or that twisted justice of letting her face the consequences, he was torn. He did not have his childhood stolen just so he could miss out on watching his son grow. He had endured too many betrayals to let this one pass.

"No."

Rionnic fled the scene, leaving Jaesa shattered just as he was. His wounded heart sought a healing presence that was his son. When he peeked inside his office, Rian was no longer sleeping there. He began asking around, and seconds later he heard the voice of his son. Instantly, his spirits were uplifted yet quite anxious to finally meet the jewel of his life. 

“--But I saw the bad-bald man from the holos earlier so I ran. Why is he here?”

“Oh… well, he’s, um, not bad anymore? He’s very friendly now--oh look, my brother.”

The Emperor’s heartbeat was racing as he gazed straight into his son’s blue eyes, just like his. Riornivo smiled, slowly taking a few steps back to let the two have a moment. Rian was a little reserved with a glint of curiosity, taking small steps towards his father.

“You’re the Alliance Command--Zakuul Emperor!” as the padawan bowed enthusiastically.

Still speechless, he knelt down to the child’s eye level, admiring his features. Proud of how fast he grew up and of his manners. Despite the lack of memory, he was happy to start over and reconnect with his son.

“Hello there, you must be Rian. Jedi padawan, isn’t it?”

“Hmm… Why do I feel like I’ve known you?”

Rian’s statement saddened him. How he’d give anything to hug and kiss his son. Their reunion, however, was interrupted by the Mother stepping in. Rionnic was instantly apprehensive. 

“Mother? Why are your eyes red and puffy?”

Both parent’s eyes widened at that innocent remark. Jaesa quickly thought up of a white lie; “It’s just dust from standing too near a shuttle, Rian. Rather careless of me!”

“Be more careful next time. Mother, have you met the Alliance Commander and his twin brother? They look exactly the same and the other said he’s related to me--he’s my Uncle. Like, *Uncle* Uncle. Is that true? Is the Commander another Uncle? So many Uncles.” as Rian babbled on, being the innocent and curious child he was. However for Jaesa, it was another difficult truth to relay to her son. 

"Rian… the man behind you is… he's your father."

The padawan's mouth was agape, "REALLY??"

"Yes, I'm sorry for not telling you. He's-"

"WOOOOOOWWWW…."

Rionnic was getting misty-eyed as his son turned around in utter amazement, looking at him with a new meaning, a new role. Though the wound was still fresh in their hearts, Rian was their powerful healer, just by being there.

"Come give me a hug."

The young padawan lunged and tackled his father in an energetic hug. The first contact with Rian almost made the Sith collapse in euphoric relief. He peppered kisses and snuggles, letting the longing and missed years evaporate. Silent tears ran down his face while stroking his son’s dark brown hair. 

“Father?”

“Yes?” as the Sith internally rejoiced at the most meaningful title spoken for the first time ever by his son to him. Rian's smaller hand wiped away Rionnic’s tears. “Why are you sad?”

“I’m not--I’m not sad, my dear. I’m the happiest now that I’ve found you.”

"I'm happy too. I have a father."

They resumed embracing each other, the father feeling complete and the son excited to meet one of his, albeit secretly, heroes. He cared not about him being Sith despite what's been told about them; scary and mean. From the first time he laid eyes upon his father, he could feel a strong bond being reconnected between them. Rionnic stood up while still holding his son, smiling so easily after years of bitterness and struggles.

“Father? Can you show me around the base? Also the cool ships. Also do you wanna see my collection of rocks?”

“Of course I want to. One base tour coming up!”

The two were so absorbed in each other’s presence that they walked past the Mother. Though still feeling somber from her reunion, she found comfort in the heartwarming interactions she just witnessed between the father and son. But what would happen next? They both know that they’d have to co-parent, but dreaded at how awkward that would be. What if Rian’s curiosity led him to question the state of their marriage? She also had some doubts on Rionnic’s presence considering how busy he seemed to be. It quickly dispersed however--it wasn’t her place to question his dedication when she had betrayed him. 

She took a deep breath. Since she was staying to help, she decided to try to repair the relationship with her husband, and possibly win him back. It would be a long and arduous effort, but he was worth everything she had to give.

After all, family was the principle of their lives.


End file.
